Ha!

 I believe this is me:  

"I once invited a kick-ass speaker to campus to give a talk on academic productivity. He gave tons of useful suggestions that I still use all the time. 

When we were leaving the event, a colleague who’d spent 20 years complaining that she couldn’t go up for promotion because she didn’t know how to get herself together and publish anything drawled, “What a disappointing event. I thought he was going to say something interesting and instead he said we need to write every day.”