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I am posting this as a benchmark, not because I think I'm playing very well yet.  The idea would be post a video every month for a ye...

Monday, September 12, 2016

poem with semicolons

My body awakes me; wants sustenance or to relieve itself;

relief from cold or heat; or it simply knows that the day is here.

Pleasure-seeking, it wakes me for that:

lustful, averse to discomfort, stupid,

addicted, over-nourished, badly designed.

It is soft but durable, though spare parts are hard to find

and harder still to install!

Symmetrical, it wears its redundancy on its sleeve;

craving sleep; yet it wakes me every damn time.


Leslie said...

My body awakes me, wants sustenance or to relieve itself

Voting to get rid of the ones in the first line (see above arrangement), leave the others ... but this vote misses the point

Jonathan said...

Yes. In any workshop o would accept that correction