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Anxious gatekeeping

Analogous to nervous cluelessness is something we might call “anxious gatekeeping.”   This is desire to police the borders of poetry, or of...

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

When You Aren't Doing So Well

So when I have not been doing well in the past... Oftentimes I haven't been taking care of myself, haven't been exercising, for example. Since I am happiest when I am also productive (and vice-versa), in my less good times I have allowed myself not to work as hard. It seems like an indulgence, but it is really like a deprivation. I've found it hard to deal with spare time, empty time. I have not reached out to people to help me through the difficulties. I've always been professionally successful, but in less good times I have dwelt on the few things in which I was not successful. My flaws seemed magnified. I was anxious, depressed.

1 comment:

Dr. Purple said...

During droughts, brought about by my own insolence, I've allowed myself not to write, or to write very poorly, or copy down the work of others I admire. I allow myself to not be productive, and almost every time this has meant a day, a week that follows where the work comes like water from a garden hose. I suffer with a mood disorder and a disorganized academic life, so work for me is very important, but is not the product of magical thinking. I have to be honest with myself. Today's a reading day, I'll announce. Or, today I think I'll watch those documentaries. Today, I've written two exceedingly long posts (longterm projects) and I'm going to work on my novel again. I take care of myself, and the process takes care of itself. Thanks for all your work, I have enjoyed and been inspired by the entries here. Take care,