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Anxious gatekeeping

Analogous to nervous cluelessness is something we might call “anxious gatekeeping.”   This is desire to police the borders of poetry, or of...

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Conga & Not my Girlfriend's Breasts

I was playing conga with a band. I also had a some hi-hats and I clicked them together with my left hand on 2 and 4. The conductor showed me why that was a cool beat. But when we actually had to play the song was a country one with lame rhythm. The conga was smaller than in real life and I didn't know what to play so I sat out. There was another drummer to my right who had started playing another instrument instead, and a third drummer somewhere on the other side of the bandstand, who I thought might carry the beat. When I did start to play some notes I supposed that they would be inaudible.

***

I woke up next to a woman that I had admired in high school. I looked into the mirror at my pecs, and realized, from the disparity of size, that I was really looking at the reflection of her breasts. It was strangely asexual situation (we hadn't had sex nor were going to), and I apologized to her for looking, or else pointed out that they were on view. She referred to herself as a former girlfriend but I corrected her, because she had not been my girlfriend.

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