For example, I would not think I know enough chords or keys, and compose songs in abstruse keys with lots of weird chords added in, and then I realized that most songs by excellent songwriters are only in a few basic keys. My simpler songs are no worse than my overly convoluted ones. When I wanted to be a poet when I was 12 I got this book called the poetry handbook by Babette Deutsch and learned everything in it. I was kind of shocked when I began college five years later and students in creative writing classes didn't know what a Villanelle was. When I was into Bolaño a few years ago I read every book he wrote. Before graduate school I thought I didn't know enough so I read every book I could find by a boom novelist. Then of course the boom fell out of favor with Latin Americanists and never really recovered. I once had a project that involved reading thousands of books of poetry. If I find a poet I like I check out all the books and read them instead of just being contented with the poems in the anthology that led me to her. I hate "Selected Poems." Give me the Complete Poems.
I never think I've read enough, so I over-compensate. I'm pretty much a "completista" in things that matter to me. I've explored many ways of making coffee and I've owned multiple types of hat. I binge watch series I don't even like that much.
I took the Greek Workshop and Berkeley right before attending grad school. My dad had the idea that I should go to Oxbridge and get an MA in Classics before getting a PhD. I loved classics, but not the way classics were taught by grammar translation. The thought a Latin teacher and teaching the ablative absolute was not what I envisioned for my self. I didn't go for his idea, but I did study 10 weeks of intensive Greek, enough to start to read Euripides and Plato. Since I was going to graduate student to be a Modernist I promptly forgot Greek.
If I was happy with my self I wouldn't have to do any of this, but my relationship to myself has always been bad. All my successes, too, arise from unhappiness.