Tonight we had a gala celebration of our department, "100 years of Hispanism." In meditation I am learning not to react as much to things. So tonight was a good test for me. I found myself irritated by one speaker who went on and on with no organization, and taking much more than the allotted time. Another person made remarks that brought up painful memories. I had to wait a long time before my own intervention, a brief tribute to an emeritus colleague. In another case, someone I don't like very much gave a good talk, so I had to refrain myself from finding something wrong with it, when it was actually very fine. I was frustrated the the event lasted until after 10 p.m., when we had finished eating by 7:45.
It's not that I didn't have reactions, but I was able to become aware of them as they arose and greet them with more equanimity. Instead of it being a wholly unpleasant evening it became an occasion for curiosity about my own reactions. For example, impatience is a sign of not appreciating the present moment. Not wanting one's not favorite person to do well is an unnecessary thought that does one no good, in the end. Being frustrated at someone bad presentation is natural, but not really all that bad in the larger scheme. My own intervention was fine, and having to wait a bit more to give it was ok. The painful memory is still painful, but not worth dwelling on now, etc...
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