I'm hearing a song I wrote play through my head over and over for hours as I lie awake at night. I try to construct a walking bass line in my head for it but I can't hear the pitches in my head for this line well enough.
I think of the first real book I read, Of Human Bondage. I remember three things: Philip is an artist, but mediocre. The book seemed to be saying that you either have it or you don't, and he doesn't. Very depressing. Secondly, a scene in which he inadvertently declares his love for an older woman, who then dismisses him. I went back to re-read this scene more recently, and it was not as sexually suggestive as I thought it was when I was 11. Thirdly,there is no God. He prays as a kid for God to cure his club foot, and nothing happens.