I am not a skillful pedagogue. Arrogantly, I think that it is enough that students are exposed to a mind like mine. So the problem is one of making sure they are exposed to it. So I have to very careful to design courses in which I can offer my best self. I have to prepare for each class with enough forethought so that the opportunity for the exposure is there. If I am prepared I don't have to worry once I am in front of the class, because flaws in performance are not particularly fatal as long as I can make 90% of the time extremely meaningful.
One of my flaws is that I come up with new ideas in class, so I can't remember the name of a book, for example. It never occurred to me before that I was going to need to refer to this book in class, of course. I need to refer to it because a question from a student made me make another connection.
I will still stand behind my pedagogy, as imperfect as it is. I am sorry to have to express it as a humble brag, and that my apology is not apologetic enough.