Panic

I realized that there was this book, El flamenco a la luz de García Lorca, that I had not heard of. I experienced a moment of panic: what if this book did what I wanted to do? When I opened it up, I realized that my fears were unfounded. It is the typical book that talks about Lorca and flamenco in all the old ways and with a lot of the flamencology baggage that doesn't interest me.

The more I read the more I am convinced that I can do it better. I read a chapter on the blues in a book by a famous musicologist and said, nyah, I can do it better, simply because I don't think black people's bodies are more connected to their minds than white peoples. If I were writing about the blues I'd include jazz, for one thing.

I can just do it better. I'm not trying to be arrogant, it's just that my basic standard for myself is at a certain level. For me, it is a basic level of intellectual rigor.